


What's your damage? [LAMS HEATHERS AU]

by PinkPanicAesthicc



Category: Hamilton - Miranda, Heathers (1988)
Genre: AU, Aaron Burr Being an Asshole, Alexander and John have a toxic relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, Based on the movie not musical, Heathers (1989) - Freeform, Heathers Hamilton AU, Heathers crossover, Henry Laurens Being an Asshole, Henry Laurens' A+ Parenting, Hurt Alexander Hamilton, I'm Sorry, James is McNamara, John Laurens Being an Asshole, John is JD, M/M, Peggy as Martha, Thomas Jefferson Being an Asshole, Thomas is Chandler, alex is veronica, burr is duke, everyone's an asshole, not really - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-17
Updated: 2018-10-17
Packaged: 2019-08-03 10:43:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16324742
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PinkPanicAesthicc/pseuds/PinkPanicAesthicc





	What's your damage? [LAMS HEATHERS AU]

Dear Diary, Thomas told me he teaches people real life. He said, "Real life sucks losers dry. If you wanna fuck with the eagles- you have to learn to fly." I said, "So, you teach people how to spread their wings and fly?" He said yes. I said,

_**"You are beautiful."** _

\------------------------------------------------------------------------ "God, Come on, Alexander!" James said as he kicked Alex in his shin, causing him to wince and mess up his handwriting. "What is your damage, Madison!?" Alexander growled, rubbing his knee in pain. James rolled his eyes, "Don't ride up on me. Thomas said to halt your ass into the cafeteria ASAP."

He looked over to Aaron- who was nose deep into his book, 'Moby Dick'. He nudged him in the arm, causing him to blink out of his haze. "Back me up, Burr."

The boy in yellow snapped his head up, slamming his book shut. Aaron hesitated but as he earned a glare from James, he spoke. "Yeah, he really wants to talk to you, Alex." Burr said softly, returning to his book. Alex groaned as he grabbed his books and mumbled, "Okay, I'm going. Christ..."

 

The three walked down the hall, soon arriving at the large cafeteria doors, opening them to see all the high schoolers crowding the room. Talking, laughing, and eating. Alexander scowled as he turned to see Thomas Jefferson, smirking mischievously while he wrote something down on a piece of paper from a notepad. He looked up, eyebrows raising as he saw his 'friends' walking over towards him. Thomas had a cocky look on his face as his Virginian accent rolled out from under his tongue.

"Alexander. Finally."

"What do you want, Jefferson?" Alex tapped his foot while placing a hand on his hip. The boy in the purple dress shirt tossed the note pad into his arms along with the pen. "I need you to write me a letter in Hercules Mulligan's handwriting explaining his "passion and love" for Peggy Schuyler. Make sure it sounds horny but equally lovesick."

 

Alex groaned rolling his eyes, "Shit, Thomas, I don't have anything against Margarita Schuyler." Jefferson glared, crossing his arms. "You don't have anything for her either. Come on, Alex. It'll make her feel giddy. And give her shower nozzle masturbation material for a week. Just hurry and write this shit."

"Alexander needs something write on. Burr!" Thomas snapped his fingers, signaling for Aaron to bend over and let Alex use his back as a writing desk. Which the boy reluctantly did.

Alex began writing what Thomas was telling him to, which he really did make it sound like it was Hercules speaking.

"Dear Peggy, My dick grows three inches every time I look at your pretty musky hair. Your beauty fills me with a weird feeling, like the feeling you get when you fake an orgasm or eat too much cheese. Lust not love. But you are still a hot piece of ass. And thatst saying a lot for you, since your ass is huge. You make me hard,

H. Mulligan."

 

Alexander sighed as he handed the note to Thomas, who passed it on to Aaron, who then passes it on to James. He folded it into a square and walked over to the lonely girl's table where she was sitting alone, eating her salad while sulking. He smiled slyly and placed the note onto her tray without being noticed by the girl before walking away back to Thomas and the others.

They all huddled up together in excitement, three of four trying not to laugh. "Here we go...!" James snickered as they watched Peggy open up the letter and read it carefully.

The three giggled as she stopped eating her food and smiled with hope. She was just too gullible! Alexander felt like shit. Well, he felt like shit everyday he hung around Thomas.

It was the same routine: Thomas use him for his skills, ruin someone's life and reputation, then laugh about it, and throw Alexander out the window.

He looked down at the ground in shame. Alex brought his head back up to see what his friends were now full on laughing about, only to see that Peggy was gone from her table. In her place, sat a boy who looked at Alexander with curiosity. Alex thought nothing of it at first, but as he wouldn't look away, Alex showed him a small smirk. The mysterious guy with the earring smiled right back.

 

"Holy shit!"

 

Alex flashed his head around to the sound of the football jocks laughing. He glared as Hercules read the letter while laughing hysterically at Peggy, who now walked off in embarrassment and anger as him and his buddy, Lafayette, screamed with belly laughs. Hercules crumpled up the letter into a ball and tossed it aside, yelling at Peggy from across the room.

"Here comes Piggy Schuyler!" Mulligan teased, high-fiving Lafayette who laughed along.

Alexander sighed, rolling his eyes once more before making eye contact with the same boy again. He gave him a look of focus as he rested his arms on the table, completely ignoring his school lunch that sat beside him. Alexander cocked an eyebrow and nudged Madison as he saw Thomas writing down something on the same notepad.

"What's that?" Thomas answered James for him, cutting him off. He showed a cocky sarcastic grin. "What does it look like? It's that time of the week, grasshoppers."

"Oh god. Another lunch time poll?" "Of course. We do this every week. Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast, Alexander?" Jefferson mocked, not looking up from his writing before tossing the pen behind him and making Aaron cringe as it was his pen.

The rest of the lunch period Alexander was dragged around by Thomas while he asked the same really stupid question,

"Say you win the lottery and that chick with the dress hands you that big ass check. But the same day, Aliens threaten to blow up the earth in three days. What do you do with the money?"

The goths answered with a grumble about demonic sacrifice. The jocks answered with sex jokes. And the stoners answered with a confused and slurred 'What?' When they got to the other but less popular kids table, they gave cocky smiles as one girl, Maria Reynolds, answered.

"I would give all the money to the homeless. Every cent." she smirked, making Thomas' blood boil as he deeply inhaled and exhaled. Alexander raised his brows, smiling sarcastically. "You're beautiful."

Thomas made a face at the teen as she waved goodbye in a seductive manner, and pulled Alexander away from the table who started giggling.

"What in fucks name was that!?"

"It's just... Why don't we ever ask other people? Like them." Hamilton pointed to the table that held the biggest needs in the school, Charles Lee, Samuel Seabury, and John Adams.

Thomas cringed as one of them spit out their milk, making it come out of their nose. Jefferson turned back to Hamilton with a look of offense and disgust.

"Fuck me with a axe! Do I look like Mother Teresa to you!?" (A/N: I changed it cuz copyright is a thing—) James and Aaron walked over, hearing all the commotion.

Alexander glared, "Why do you have to be such a mega bitch all the time to everyone?"

"Oh, please," the high schooler scoffed.

"People here need to know who they're dealing with. Everyone either wants me as a friend or a fuck and I'm only a junior."

Hamilton rolled his eyes at his 'friend'. In all honesty, he absolutely hated Jefferson. As he thought this, his eyes flickered to the back of the cafeteria to see that boy again. He nudged Madison once more, "Who is that?"

"That's John Laurens. He sits behind me in American History class. He's been to, like, five different highschools this year alone. I heard the guy is real weirdo."

Alexander ignored Jefferson's scoff as he took the clipboard from him with Thomas' stupid question on it, and found his way walking over to John's table. The guy sat up, crossing his arms over the table and licking his lips before speaking.

"Greetings and salutations." John Laurens smiled slyly. Alexander smirked, cocking a brow as he put out his hand.

"Pleasure to meet you. Hamilton. Alexander Hamilton." "The pleasure is all mine," he said. The boy took his hand firmly but gently, shaking it.

"Laurens. John Laurens."

"This might be a really dumb question," Alex said. "There are no dumb questions." John added. Hamilton sighed and tried not to giggle.

"If you won a million dollars but aliens planned to destroy the Earth in three days what would you do with the cash?" John looked at him with the same expression before bursting out laughing, even snorting a bit.

"That is the dumbest question I've ever heard." Hamilton tried to hide his blush as the freckled boy continued. "Well... I'd probably do nothing. I mean, how can I spend money on worthless stuff then just die three days later? I told you, it's the dumbest question I've ever heard."

"Well, that's the smartest response I've heard all day. Good for you." The boys both smirked at each other, blushing a bit.

Thomas had had enough of this and stomped over, giving John a vicious glare. "Let's go, Alex." He growled as he dragged Alexander away again. "I was talking to somebody!" Alex yelled, but his voice got more distant as he walked away from the boy, who blinked in surprise.


End file.
